


the road to ruin

by towokuwusatsuwu



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Characters to be added, Communication, Established Relationship, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 03:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13918137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: Koda and Junichi end up at a Sabbath party in an attempt to improve their track speed. Koda comes out a different person, caught between his own humanity and the demonic powers he now has within him. Junichi could never love him any less no matter what form he happens to take and is invested in staying by his side and helping him figure this out as the world around them falls apart.





	the road to ruin

**Author's Note:**

> I really, truly hate the way Crybaby treated Koda so this is my attempt at literally anything better and more positive for the boy who truly deserved it most. Junichi is still alive and the manga rules apply so there will be no needless drama about Koda not being able to control his devilman form.

The morning after the Sabbath, Koda awakes in a sea of severed limbs and blood.

Crimson swathes stain his skin and the sight makes him sick to his stomach, makes him all too aware of the taste of copper on his tongue and the grittiness in his eyes. He feels worse than he ever has before and as he pushes himself up on shaking legs, fear strikes sudden and quick through his heart, his eyes scanning the dark room for Junichi.

Junichi. They had come here together to relax and because Koda had heard rumors, rumors about other athletes where they had made deals with the devil in order to become faster and stronger, to become something not seen of this world. He and Junichi had wanted to take over the world together on the track, and there could be no better two-man team, so they had come to this party together. It was almost nice to be somewhere public where no one would judge them.

But now, Koda has no idea where he is, and the fear twisting sick and sudden through his heart makes him want to fall to his knees and weep. Where is Junichi?

There are terrified faces surrounding him, people who had been cut down and ripped apart while the horror still shone bright in their dull eyes. Koda remembers so little of last night after the first person began to twist and contort, when the first nervous stream of laughter gave way to sickening tears and snaps as something welled up from within and spilled over, splitting delicate human flesh to make its way into the world.

“Junichi,” he murmurs to himself, stumbling, almost slipping in a congealed pool of blood when he puts his foot down, clearing his throat and forcing his voice to be a little louder. “Junichi, where are you? Are you okay? Junichi!”

The longer it takes to find him, the more certain he is that he must be among the people left dead on the floor and the more frantic he gets. His heart hammers painfully against his ribs and he struggles to breathe, certain he must be on the verge of a panic attack. The reality settles in a little more firmly with every passing second, the fact that he is surrounded by dead bodies and the person he loves the most in the world is nowhere to be found.

Just when his breathing begins to tip over into hyperventilation, something stirs in the darkness ahead of him. Koda narrows his eyes, squints, tries to make out what he sees. Someone standing, staggering on their feet, a familiar silhouette he could have traced in his dreams.

Sick relief pulses through his body and he pushes himself forward on legs that do not feel like his own any longer. “Junichi!”

“Koda?” Junichi’s voice is husky, scratchy, but when he steps out of the shadows into the light filtering through the room’s windows, relief shines in his dark eyes. “Oh, thank God, it really is you. I was so afraid when I woke up, I thought… But you’re okay!”

He surges forward and throws his arms around Koda’s shoulders, pulling him into his arms and Koda clings to him, pressing his face against the curve of his neck and shoulder. Quiet sobs rack his body. He had been so afraid he might have lost Junichi, and he doesn’t know what he would have done without him. He doesn’t know how he could have gone on in a world that didn’t include the man whose fingers sift softly through his hair, the lips that whisper sweetly in his ear to calm down, everything is going to be okay.

They stand there together for a moment before Junichi leans back, traces his fingers down the side of Koda’s face with a small smile. “Your eyes are different,” he murmurs. “Do you feel strange? Different? Maybe it worked. Maybe you—”

“I don’t even want to talk about that right now. I just want to get out of here.” He tells himself not to look at the dead bodies around them, to not consider what had happened last night just yet.

Sympathy flashes in Junichi’s eyes and he nods, leaning forward to press a gentle, soothing kiss to Koda’s forehead. “Fair, fair. Let’s get out of here before someone comes.”

Their car has dark-tinted windows but even then, Koda is worried about the blood on their skin, worried someone might see and so he sinks as low into his seat as he can, feeling dirty and sick and tired. Junichi only keeps one hand on the steering wheel, the other seeking out Koda’s hands, letting Koda hold onto him, an anchor. The drive feels both mercifully short and painfully long, and Koda is not sure how that works.

“Nobody’s up at this hour,” Junichi observes as he pulls up to Koda’s house, and Koda is lucky, in hindsight, that his parents had stolen off on a private vacation, giving him the place to himself for a while. “Let’s get in before some little old lady peeks out her curtains and sees us.”

The prospect makes Koda giggle, and Junichi blinks at him, clearly startled, before grinning himself. Koda still has his keys on him and manages to get the door unlocked on the second try, afraid to touch anything but the knob, afraid to leave blood on the wood. They kick off their shoes as soon as they step into the building and take the stairs two at a time to reach the upstairs bathroom, the sole room with a shower large enough for both of them.

“I think you’re more of a wreck than I am,” Junichi observes, reaching for Koda’s jacket, yanking the zipper down and pushing it off of his shoulders. “I can barely remember last night, I was so out of it. I’m just glad you’re okay. No one hurt you, did they? This blood isn’t yours?”

Koda shakes his head slowly. “No, it isn’t. All I remember is people starting to turn into monsters and… I think I fought some of them? I’m not sure. I’m having a hard time remembering.”

“At least you’re okay. That’s what I was most worried about.” Junichi frames Koda’s face in his hands and they stand there for a long moment, just looking at each other, just drinking in that the other is still alive, before Junichi turns around to start the shower.

It takes time to get their clothes off, soaked with blood as they are, creased and misshapen and torn in places. The clothing goes in the trash can, too wrecked to bother saving and besides, Koda has no desire to let his parents see any of this. Junichi winces at the sight of him and Koda looks down, at the broader swathes of drying blood all over his skin, having soaked through his shirt. He needs to try to remember just what happened last night.

“It’s kind of killing me to see you like this,” Junichi admits, and Koda looks up at him, not sure what to say. “Something bad clearly happened last night and I can’t even remember what it was? But you could have gotten hurt. I can’t even remember if I was there to protect you.”

“Hey, hey, don’t… Don’t worry about that. I’m fine. We’re both fine.” Koda reaches out to touch his face and Junichi sighs and leans into him. “Let’s just get cleaned up.”

Steam rolls over the top of the shower curtain, signalling the water is hot enough that they can get in now. Junichi only gives him time to wet himself down before half-tackling him with a washcloth, scrubbing intently at the blood stains but not hard enough to hurt. Koda would be lying if he said he was uncomfortable with this, though. He might still be young and unsure of himself roughly half of the time, but no part of him has ever shyed away from Junichi.

“Your eyes really are different,” Junichi tells him, and Koda blinks, not sure what to say, because he can’t see them for himself and he didn’t think to check in the mirror. “They’re still nice, though. Nicer, I think, maybe? They suit you, at least. Do you feel okay?”

“I feel like I could sleep for a thousand years, but otherwise… I’m fine.” Koda shrugs, not sure what else to say. Under the hot water and almost clean, he feels much better now.

Junichi breathes a soft sigh and leans closer until their foreheads touch, warm damp skin against warm damp skin. “I’m glad. When I first woke up and I saw all the bodies, I was so worried you might have been one of them. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”

Koda doesn’t have to tell Junichi he feels the same.

Instead, he voices the concern that has been on the tip of his tongue for the last few minutes, the thoughts that refuse to leave his mind no matter how much he tries to ignore it. “What if it did work, like you said? What if I’m…”

The words refuse to leave his lips and he swallows hard, squeezing his eyes shut, willing himself not to panic at the thought of why they had gone to the Sabbath and what they had been hoping to achieve. Junichi pulls Koda against him then, arms wrapping tight and warm and secure around his back, hands kneading at the tension in his spine. He presses his face against Junichi’s neck and wills himself not to break down crying, knowing how nothing like that can change the facts if they are true, laid out like this.

“You’re still you, and that’s what matters. Nothing else does.” Junichi leans back to look at him and Koda’s throat closes at the sight of those warm, familiar brown eyes. “If it worked, then it worked, and we can’t change that. But it doesn’t change the fact I still love you.”

As soon as both of them are clean, they dry off and head to Koda’s bedroom; Junichi has more than enough spare clothes in Koda’s drawers from just how often he had come to stay over. They sprawl out on the bed in t-shirts and boxers and Koda feels faint hunger in the pit of his stomach, but nothing to worry about right now. He doesn’t think he could bring himself to consider putting anything meaty in his mouth after the scene he had woken in.

Junichi rolls onto his side, tucking an arm around Koda’s waist, hugging Koda’s body against his chest. “I wonder if there’s, like, any way to check if it worked or not.”

“I don’t know.” Koda closes his eyes, reaches… Inward, or whatever. He doesn’t quite know what he’s reaching for, but he feels something just the same. Something powerful. “Wait, wait. Let me get off the bed because if we break the frame… Mom’ll never let me live it down.”

Junichi smothers laughter against his cheek but lets him go, and Koda rolls off of the mattress and onto the floor, putting some space between him and the bed just in case. He closes his eyes again and reaches for whatever that is, and he definitely feels something huge and powerful at his disposal. It feels scary to reach for it, but… Junichi still loves him. Junichi is alive, Junichi had gone with him, and Junichi is here now.

He feels the moment his body starts changing, the expansion, the way his skin and muscles and bones stretch and contort into something alien, something that feels wrong. It almost scares him enough to back off but he doesn’t because he has to know. At some point his body falls forward, but his hands aren’t hands any longer. Not now.

When he opens his eyes, he’s still looking at the bed, at Junichi now sitting up with an astounded expression on his face, his eyes blown wide. Something feels wrong, but Koda isn’t sure what it is until he swings his head around to look at the mirror.

“What the fuck is that?” he demands, backing away from the glass.

It sinks in when the monstrous bull with his face backs up at the same time and he freezes. That’s… That’s him now? This is what the Sabbath had been about?

“Calm down, Koda.” Junichi slips off of the bed and Koda turns away from the mirror and back to him, not sure what to say, what to think about the massive muscular brown body with his face, the jaws, the massive black horns. “I guess… It worked after all.”

“What is it? What’s wrong with me?” Koda demands.

Junichi stretches out a hand and touches his cheek, hushing him quietly. “I know this has to be terrifying but calm down. It’s okay. This is… Well, we knew what everyone said the Sabbath was, I guess I didn’t believe it was so literal. You’re… A demon now? A devil? I mean, no you aren’t, because you’re still you. You just have this body, and I guess power? It’s cool.”

Koda stares at him in disbelief. “Cool? This is awful and ugly and—”

“No, no, no. You’re not ugly, Koda, as if you could ever… No.” Junichi shakes his head, but there’s no mistaking the way he smiles, the gentleness in his eyes. “You just look different like this, but there’s nothing ugly about this. In fact… You’re kinda cute? A big bull. I wouldn’t have expected that. Come here, take a step or two closer.”

Koda doesn’t feel right in this body just yet, but he does as Junichi asks and steps forward, and it feels… Pleasant and soothing when Junichi strokes a hand down the side of his devil’s head, fingers tracing where one horn sprouts through his fur. He would not have expected anything in this body to be pleasant but Junichi seems to have a better grasp of this than Koda would have thought; he walks around Koda in a slow circle, petting a hand down his massive back. It’s soothing and pleasurable and Koda presses up into it happily.

“Very cute, I’ve decided. You can turn back now, I think.” Junichi comes to stand back in front of him, putting his hands on Koda’s cheeks and bringing their foreheads together. “It’s okay, really. You’re still you and we’re going to figure this out together.”

Shifting back to his human body is at least easy and Junichi helps him up to his feet; Koda throws his arms around his neck, not sure what else to say, not sure he can express enough gratitude to ever show Junichi how much he appreciates his help and support. Junichi holds him tight and close, and even if the entire morning has been nothing but a confusing haze with a chilling reality thrown in, they still have each other. Koda can anchor himself with that.

“Let’s go downstairs and get breakfast,” Junichi says. “And then we’ll go from there.”


End file.
